Relationship 101

It is one of those days where I would be wide awake in the wee hours despite my body’s screams and screeches of tiredness. Blame my brain. It has a system of its own, totally ignoring the cries of its brothers and sisters! Well, needless to say, my brain triumphed. And, today it envisioned on relationships. Ooohh Aaahhh….

It is very common to be asked about your relationship status when you’re in your 20s. If you’re single (ME!), then put on your armour (I didn’t) because the amount of questions being thrown at you (the WHYs and WHY NOTs) are countless. There are 2 ways you can gain wisdom from in life. ONE; go through something in your life and learn it the hard way, or TWO; learn from the mistakes others made! Luckily, I gained mine mostly from No.2. Although I might not have been in any relationships, let’s just say I’m pretty much of a great observer!   

So, what is so special about being in a relationship then? How are we going to make it last? Are we making the right choices? Is love at first sight REAL? What do we look for in our significant other?

Let’s just picture a scenario. You’re seeing someone for the very first time and you feel like you could spend eternity with this person; as though you could get lost in those ocean-like eyes. Your heartbeat instantly increases and a sudden jolt of euphoria overtakes you. You may think that you have found the love of your life but in reality all you are feeling is infatuation towards that person.

Sorry to pop your bubble. But all you are falling for is their superficial self, not their character. It may also be mere covetousness! Yes, lust is part of love, but love cannot be defined solely by the feeling of wanting someone. Our feelings are ephemeral. It is bound to change every other minute. Now, you don’t remain angry with your mum for scolding you, do you? Ditto!

Do not base your relationship on just how you feel at that particular moment. Take time before jumping into it. Do realise that it takes far more time, effort and patience to truly understand another person’s inner character than it does to quickly be enticed into their sexiness, wealth and charm. Be analytical of that person you thought to have feelings for. Will that person be right for you? Reflect!

You may think that I’m out of my mind for asking you to be investigative of love. It does sound funny to my own ears, trust me. But, love is not what relationships are all about. It’s about growing together as a person and improvising ourselves. Now, take note that I said ‘improvise’ not CHANGE! When you try to change your true self for whom you aren’t, on a long run, you will fall out of your relationship.

Being in a relationship is a choice; a conscious commitment. It is something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same, by accepting the other as a whole! Don’t settle for less. Some things are better late than never, and love is certainly one of them. Don’t rush into it, rather wait and accept only the love you truly deserve. 

Work on strengthening your core values too. It is not something that is achieved overnight, though. Be a better version of yourself before finding the one. Don’t be afraid to leave your comfort zone in search of a person who could be better for you either. Remember, every building needs a proper foundation for it to stand strong and so does a relationship. Be critical and it’s always better to be safe than sorry!